Ouch

Well, I never said I wasn't a procrastinator. I suppose at this point it's safe to say that I've been running amuck. Oh yeah, definitely! However, all this time between posts has actually taken me out there only to bring me right back around to where I started. I wish I could say that time has made me wiser, isn't that how it's supposed to be? Uh huh, sure it is. Right, I'll keep that in mind next time I step out into the world as we know it. Okay, okay, I guess that's quite enough of this line of commiserating. I wonder if I can commiserate with myself. Is that possible? Oh who knows, and honestly is it really important in the grand scheme of things? Noooooo!

Apparently I have to keep making the same mistakes over and over just so I can repeat the lessons over and over. It would be much easier if these lessons would come in the same form everytime, but noooo, seems the universe likes to sneak in the same lesson when I'm not looking and seeing it as the same thing I already flunked before. Kinda' like a pop quiz or something. Ooh I always hated those dumb pop quizzes!!

So, let's see, what have I learned yet again. I suppose I didn't learn it that well the first bunch of times or I wouldn't have to go through it again. Yeah, that's one thing. If I had actually lived what I learned continuously, instead of losing balance and and coming up short of the lesson, I would be so free and clear of it and could move along! Yeah, that too. The big thing is this (again)....

I need to let others learn their own lessons. You see, I have this huge problem with watching deceitfulness, injustices, hurtfulness, you get the picture. When it comes to people I love, this is magnified to the infinite. I want to protect, save, keep from harm, again, you see what I'm saying. I must, absolutely MUST, let people learn what they need to learn (or not) to grow. The ones that are on the giving end as well as on the receiving end of these situations.
I need to learn this, I need to LIVE this all the time. ALL the time. I suffer greatly watching this happen to people, and yet, though I love them, the greatest love is to let them fly, grow, learn. I suffer for them, now that's quite stupid in my book! Empathise yes, Suffer no. It is wasted energy, misguided love, and needless suffering. Hey, this isn't easy by any means, no doubt that's why I keep slipping back into it. Now that I have actually written it down maybe I will retain it better. Hmmmm, we'll see. I'm sure gonna' give it the old college try!

It doesn't get any better than that!

PS